Here’s the cute, sanitized, children’s version of the Exodus
Chapters 14 and 15
Cuteness aside, these chapters are sickening. Yahweh’s actually proud of all the killing (14:18), and the people are, too (15:1). But nothing screams ‘myths and legends’ more than 14:25, which describes god removing chariot wheels. Really? Were there witnesses?
This poem by Edward Falzon is a parody of the Israelites’ song of deliverance in Exodus 15.
“Oh say, can you see all the horses that died?
Here they lie on the shore, thanks to God’s deadly scheming.
And the horsemen as well, he destroyed them mid-stride!
All the livestock is dead, and the Pharaoh died screaming.
And the Lord’s angry glare, people thrown through the air
Cause our enemies pain, leaving nought but despair.
Oh say, God, would you mind hanging out with we slaves?
‘Coz you smite all our foes, and we’re not very brave!”
This just needs some artwork to turn it into a meme. You really need to get his book; the whole thing is hilarious. (If you live in the Winnipeg area, HAAM has copies for sale at $15 each – just contact us.)